(Source: weheartit.com, via neverending-fairytale)
"The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do."
- Andy Warhol, From A to B and Back Again (via blua)
Jane Eyre: The Short Version
| I’m brash, independent and free-thinking in a time and place such traits are frowned upon. | Jane Eyre: |
| Yeah, I don’t like that. Me and my daughters are going to abuse you. | Mrs. Reed: |
| Okay. Ow. | Jane Eyre: |
| jk. You’re going to boarding school ‘cause I’m sick of your face. | Mrs. Reed: |
| You’re a liar. | Headmaster Brocklehurst: |
| No I’m not. | Jane Eyre: |
| See, right there. You just lied. Everybody laugh at this lying bitch. | Headmaster Brocklehurst: |
| Hahahaha. | Class: |
| I can tell you’re not a liar. I’ll be your friend. | Helen Burns: |
| Really? I have a friend now? | Jane Eyre: |
| jk. Gonna go die of typhus now. | Helen Burns: |
| Us too. The text has resolved to kill us off because we were mean to you, but the intertextual explanation is that our headmaster herds us like animals in shitty housing. | Class: |
| Oops. They’re building another school over there and NOT putting me in charge of it. I don’t get it. | Headmaster Brocklehurst: |
| My childhood suffering has suddenly qualified me to be a governess. | Jane Eyre: |
| We have an annoying little orphaned French girl that WILL NOT SHUT UP. | Alice Fairfax: |
| I’m perfect for the job! Oh, no! A man fell off his horse! I should save him | Jane Eyre: |
| Wow, thanks. You know, even though you’re skinny and pale and not traditionally beautiful I kind of have a thing for you. | Mr. Rochester: |
| I’m flattered but I’ve built up too many defense mechanisms after years of systematic abuse and trauma to possibly express that to you yet. (Readers are gonna hear all about it though) | Jane Eyre: |
| Fuck. | Readers: |
| I’m dying and I’m calling you to my deathbed. | Mrs. Reed: |
| brb. Gonna go have a touching reconciliation with my wicked aunt. | Jane Eyre: |
| Yeah, no. I called you over here to tell you that this is all your fault. PS, you have a super rich uncle and I told him you were dead a long time ago because you suck. | Mrs. Reed: |
| Whatever. I forgive you anyway, bitch. | Jane Eyre: |
| Hey, while you were gone I started flirting with someone richer and prettier than you. | Mr. Rochester: |
| What the fuck? I thought we have a thing. | Jane Eyre: |
| No, we do. Just roll with it. | Mr. Rochester: |
| No, I wanna go live with my conveniently wealthy long-lost uncle. | Jane Eyre: |
| Fuck that. I love you. Marry me. | Mr. Rochester: |
| Oh, okay. Let’s make out. | Jane Eyre: |
| Did lightning just strike that tree? | Mr. Rochester: |
| I bet that’s symbolic. I’m calling that as being foreshadowing. | Readers: |
| I’m the wise old lady and I’m telling you that you should be careful with this guy, Jane Eyre. | Bessie Lee: |
| I hear you and I acknowledge what you’re saying as classic wise old person advice but I’m going to do the stereotypical young person thing and just completely ignore it. | Jane Eyre: |
| Do you two have any reasons why you can’t get married? | Minister: |
| Nope. | Jane Eyre: |
| Nope. | Mr. Rochester: |
| Um, yeah he does. He married my crazy sister and keeps her locked in his attic. | Richard Mason: |
| Dude. Not cool. | Mr. Rochester: |
| Called it. | Readers: |
| I don’t think I can do this anymore. | Jane Eyre: |
| Wait, let me show you the aforementioned crazy black lady I keep in my attic so you can understand what a great guy I am. | Mr. Rochester: |
| What the fuck? | Readers: |
| I guess that is kind of generous of you to keep her around. | Jane Eyre: |
| WHAT THE FUCK?! | Readers: |
| But I can’t be in love with you if we can’t get married. I’m gonna run away now. | Jane Eyre: |
| No, don’t! Ah, well. She’s gone. No point running after her. | Mr. Rochester: |
| I’ll take you in. I’m a nice missionary and I take care of my sisters. | St. John Rivers: |
| Cool, you seem like a nice guy. | Jane Eyre: |
| Careful, Jane. Something’s up with this guy. | Readers: |
| Hey, that rich uncle you forgot about just died and left you a shitload of money. | St. John Rivers: |
| Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t know him at all and won’t have to be sad now. So yeah, I’m rich, how about that? I think I’ll share it with you guys. | Jane Eyre: |
| What. The fuck. Are you doing? | Readers: |
| Cool. I want to marry you now and take you with me to India. | St. John Rivers: |
| Called it. | Readers: |
| I’m also your cousin. | St. John Rivers: |
| Dude. | Readers: |
| That part doesn’t bother me. | Jane Eyre: |
| DUDE. | Readers: |
| Okay, I’ll go with you. | Jane Eyre: |
| *facepalm* | Readers: |
| But I won’t marry you. I don’t love you. You’re getting friend zoned. | Jane Eyre: |
| Fuck that shit. I wanna get laid. Marry me and we’ll just fall in love later. | St. John Rivers: |
| Yeah, no. I’m gonna run away again and go find Mr. Rochester. | Jane Eyre: |
| Hey! You’re back! That crazy black lady we kept up in the attic got loose and burned the house down. Then she killed herself. | Bessie Lee: |
| Aw, that sucks. At least now Mr. Rochester is single. | Jane Eyre: |
| Yeah, but I’m blind now from the whole incident. | Mr. Rochester: |
| Don’t care. We’re married now. | Jane Eyre: |
| Yay? | Readers: |
